Oh dear, did I just hear you hiccup? Have you had them for long? It can be tricky when that happens believe me, I should know. . .
There’s nothing quite as bad as having the hiccups. Large bubbles of air bursting out of you can be very awkward in certain situations. The last time I had the hiccups they lasted for months, wandering through day to day life making strange gasping noises with every step can make for some very embarrassing moments. They got so loud people started jumping out of the way!
The worst part was everyone seemed to have their own cure for the dreaded hiccups. An old lady told me to count to 100. My sister said that I just needed a good scare. My friend challenged me to drink upside down. My cousin said nothing and instead just dropped a cold key down my back….
It didn’t matter what people did! After a few moments of silence, a sigh of relief…
I was beginning to despair. Would I forever be known as the hiccupping girl? Never able to carry a meaningful conversation for there would always be an interruption. Forever jumping unexpectedly in her bus seat and having her words cut short. Would I ever find a cure that worked and preferably, didn’t involve standing on my head or cold keys hitting my spine? There seemed to be no hope for me, the awkward hiccupping girl. The people I knew tried to comfort me.
“It makes you distinguished.” My sister said. “People will find you exciting, never knowing what you’re going to do next! You could be famous!”
My mind filled with terrible pictures. “Roll up! Roll up! Come and see the amazing hiccupping girl!” I would be the new headline at the local circus, travelling from town to town with only my hiccups for company. Absolutely not. Better I just never open my mouth again – lock it shut and throw away the key. If they couldn’t escape then no-one had to know they were there.
My mother just smiled when she heard my new plan. She shook her head and looked over her glasses in that way that only mothers can. (You know the look I mean and if you haven’t seen it just wait until you next do something silly.) My mother claimed to be very wise in the mysteries of the hiccups. She told me they were just trapped words. We all go through times when we’re full of thoughts, but can never quite find the appropriate moment to say them and eventually everything you’ve been wanting to say builds up in your throat and there’s no other way to release the pressure so . . .
“You must be holding in a lot.” She chuckled. I agreed, partially because it was true but also because I’ve found it’s best to agree with mum in these situations.
“I’m going to tell you a secret.” She whispered as she pulled me to my feet. “The one and only REAL cure for hiccups.”
So I did as she said, following each step to the letter. Because what did I have to lose? Then we waited….
Seconds passed, minutes passed and….nothing! I was cured! I was no longer destined to be the amazing hiccupping girl! How wonderful it was to be free from the hiccupping menace at last!
Sorry, I do have a tendency to get a bit carried away but this has been a nice chat, don’t you think? I’m very sorry to see you’ve been caught by the hiccups, believe me when I say I know how it feels however… you seem trustworthy enough to me. So I think I should tell you a secret, the one and only REAL cure for hiccups. Don’t worry, there’s no cold keys and you don’t have to stand on your head. But you do need to remember, hiccups are just trapped words.
All you have to do is follow these steps…
1) Stand up nice and tall.
2) Scrunch your eyes up as tight as you can.
3) Take a deep breath in and…
SHOUT! Let every thought and word you’ve been holding in be free. As loudly as you can! Don’t miss out a single thought no matter how small or silly it might seem.
There…doesn’t that feel better?